My blogging absence has been in part from my inability to get the thoughts out of my head and on to the computer. Today may be a multi-blogging type of day.
Today I feel overly compelled to honour someone who has been a part of my life since I was a young impressionable girl. Someone who touches the lives around her in a deep way despite the crap she's going through. That woman is Jolene.
I first met Jolene when I was in grade 5 or 6. We both went to a small, private Christian school where unfortunately judgmental attitudes seemed to rule. Neither of us were "preppy" and that alone made it difficult for us. Jolene had another challenge. She started at the school in Junior High when many of her classmates had been together from grade 1. Hard crowd to break into.
But the most admirable thing I remember of those times was that Jolene was always true to herself and no matter how much the others hurt her she was there to meet their needs when she could. She doesn't hold grudges she holds grace, love and integrity.
For many years I lost touch with Jolene but was overwhelmingly happy to reconnect via Facebook a few years ago. She hasn't changed. Well, she's now a mother but the core of who she is hasn't changed. Jolene continues to give as much as she possibly can to those around her. When a life afflicted with chronic pain kept her homebound more she reached out to the online community with her blog and quest to build a new community. A community for people afflicted or touched by a life of chronic pain.
It started with a blog 'Graceful Agony'. The most appropriate name to describe Jolene's life. Despite her physical pain and the emotional pain that life brings Jolene does it all with a grace I aspire to have.
I tend to sit back and quietly observe this community but it is growing rapidly and Jolene is getting recognized for her efforts. Most of the time I am just in awe of the strength and determination that Jolene possess to keep on forging a better path for all of us who are suffering with chronic pain. I myself have fibromyalgia and despite it not being as life altering as many in the Graceful Agony community I, in my darkest hours, am inspired by all who day after day wake up and determine that their pain will not rule their life and they will have as normal a life as possible.
Beyond Graceful Agony Jolene is also a mother. What I love most about her mothering is that her little man comes first. As I write this he is battling a fever, Jolene is in extreme pain but she presses on to be there for him. This is not an easy task! When you have blinding pain the last thing you want to deal with is a puking 10 year old with a fever over 101! Jolene however shares her struggles with us and allows us the opportunity to give back to her (although this is not her motive, she shares to explain why she's not blogging - crazy lady!). I am no longer shocked by how many people post encouragement to Jolene's FB wall when she admits to having a bad day.
I could go on and on about how much Jolene means to me but I'll stop here. Check her out for herself at http://gracefulagony.wordpress.com/ Even if you don't suffer from chronic pain or know someone who does it will give you insight into the lives of people around you that may be suffering in silence with chronic pain and maybe, just maybe, you might become infected by the desire to constantly strive to improve the lives of those around you. Even if those around you are online, you've never met them, and may never see them face to face. It's a new age.
My question to you is this - who has touched your life is a similar way? Who do you know that deserves to be honoured publicly? Post your stories on your blogs and leave a link in my comments and lets start honouring those that deserve to be honoured. Don't have a blog, then just tell the story in the comments.
Namaste
Saturday, 7 August 2010
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Community...
com·mu·ni·ty –noun, plural -ties.
1. a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage...
8. similar character; agreement; identity: community of interests.
Lately I've been attending a Community Dinner in my neighbourhood. A friend, who typically keeps to himself, posed the question, "You're pretty big on community aren't you?" Honestly, I had never really thought about it but I am.
The question made me really think, "Why am I so big on community?" The simple answer is that I'm a very social person who believes no one can go through life completely alone. The deeper answer is that I find strength, support, blessings and many other valuable gifts from being involved in community. I am the type of person who needs to give as much as I receive. Being in various communities allows me the opportunities to give back.
There are a number of communities I am involved in which all share different benefits. I am a proud Freecycler. I posted my unwanted but useful items for someone else to use and benefit from and receive items my fellow Freecyclers no longer want. My son has been clothed since birth due to the generosity of Freecyclers. Yes, it's just hand-me-downs but my son is the oldest boy in his family which leaves me without hand-me-downs from family and Freecycling offers me the opportunity to get items.
I am also a member of Glad Tidings Church. While it is true that one does not need to physically go to church to talk to or learn about God attending church brings a sense of community. The other members of the church are family. We are there to love and support each other and sometimes help each other through tough times and tough decisions. Many times I attend church in order to seek advice from pastors or friends that share my beliefs and morals. Doing this helps to ensure that I get answers that are inline with those same beliefs and morals even if the answers are not what I want to hear.
From a business perspective I have gained valuable connections, knowledge and friends through my involvement with the Victoria Legal Secretaries' Association. Yes, it's a bunch of women in the same profession meeting together on a monthly basis to further their knowledge of their profession but also a time for us to gab, catch up and enjoy a good meal. The friends I have made by being apart from this community have not only helped me build my career and reputation but they've also been there for me during my pregnancy, separation and continue to support me in my quest to be the best mother I can be.
The more I think about it, the more I realize there are a vast number of communities I choose to belong to all having their different benefits. But the community I cherish the most is my family. It is probably the most challenging yet most rewarding community to be apart of. We don't always agree, we don't always get along but we ALWAYS look out for each other.
I could go on and on but I think I've made my point ;)
What community(ies) do you belong to? How do you benefit from community?
1. a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage...
8. similar character; agreement; identity: community of interests.
Lately I've been attending a Community Dinner in my neighbourhood. A friend, who typically keeps to himself, posed the question, "You're pretty big on community aren't you?" Honestly, I had never really thought about it but I am.
The question made me really think, "Why am I so big on community?" The simple answer is that I'm a very social person who believes no one can go through life completely alone. The deeper answer is that I find strength, support, blessings and many other valuable gifts from being involved in community. I am the type of person who needs to give as much as I receive. Being in various communities allows me the opportunities to give back.
There are a number of communities I am involved in which all share different benefits. I am a proud Freecycler. I posted my unwanted but useful items for someone else to use and benefit from and receive items my fellow Freecyclers no longer want. My son has been clothed since birth due to the generosity of Freecyclers. Yes, it's just hand-me-downs but my son is the oldest boy in his family which leaves me without hand-me-downs from family and Freecycling offers me the opportunity to get items.
I am also a member of Glad Tidings Church. While it is true that one does not need to physically go to church to talk to or learn about God attending church brings a sense of community. The other members of the church are family. We are there to love and support each other and sometimes help each other through tough times and tough decisions. Many times I attend church in order to seek advice from pastors or friends that share my beliefs and morals. Doing this helps to ensure that I get answers that are inline with those same beliefs and morals even if the answers are not what I want to hear.
From a business perspective I have gained valuable connections, knowledge and friends through my involvement with the Victoria Legal Secretaries' Association. Yes, it's a bunch of women in the same profession meeting together on a monthly basis to further their knowledge of their profession but also a time for us to gab, catch up and enjoy a good meal. The friends I have made by being apart from this community have not only helped me build my career and reputation but they've also been there for me during my pregnancy, separation and continue to support me in my quest to be the best mother I can be.
The more I think about it, the more I realize there are a vast number of communities I choose to belong to all having their different benefits. But the community I cherish the most is my family. It is probably the most challenging yet most rewarding community to be apart of. We don't always agree, we don't always get along but we ALWAYS look out for each other.
I could go on and on but I think I've made my point ;)
What community(ies) do you belong to? How do you benefit from community?
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Where to draw the line...
I try to do my best to put others first but occasionally I need to draw a line and say that my life and sanity come first. Friendship should be based on mutual respect. I also believe that actions speak louder than words. So when is it appropriate for someone to say 'enough is enough, I need to look after myself first'?
Generally for me I do not tolerate hypocrisy. In my books there is nothing worse than listening to someone complain about behaviours that they themselves engage in. Therefore if hypocrisy creeps it's ugly head into the actions of someone I am trying to help through a crisis, I back off.
Another 'no-no' for me is lying. When someone in need lies to me, I try to give them a warning that if it happens again my help is over. If they are lying to themselves than I cannot help them. I've learned from counseling many people that they have to be honest with themselves in order to be helped.
Consideration is also key. When people, crisis or no crisis cannot give me common courtesies I want to run away as fast as I can from them and never look back.
One final factor is my health. I have fibromyalgia. A very misunderstood illness but one that leaves me in chronic pain which worsens with stress. If my pain increases to the point that it interferes with my daily life I am forced to stop and evaluate what I can and/or cannot do to better my situation. If that means telling someone I am unable to help them, so be it. If they are unable to understand this then the relationship is not built on mutual respect.
A relationship not built on mutual respect creates situations where one person is being used. I have put myself on the line more times than I can count and will continue to do so, however I WILL NOT be taken advantage of FULL STOP!
Does this make me a bitch? Or do I just have my priorities and principles straight?
Generally for me I do not tolerate hypocrisy. In my books there is nothing worse than listening to someone complain about behaviours that they themselves engage in. Therefore if hypocrisy creeps it's ugly head into the actions of someone I am trying to help through a crisis, I back off.
Another 'no-no' for me is lying. When someone in need lies to me, I try to give them a warning that if it happens again my help is over. If they are lying to themselves than I cannot help them. I've learned from counseling many people that they have to be honest with themselves in order to be helped.
Consideration is also key. When people, crisis or no crisis cannot give me common courtesies I want to run away as fast as I can from them and never look back.
One final factor is my health. I have fibromyalgia. A very misunderstood illness but one that leaves me in chronic pain which worsens with stress. If my pain increases to the point that it interferes with my daily life I am forced to stop and evaluate what I can and/or cannot do to better my situation. If that means telling someone I am unable to help them, so be it. If they are unable to understand this then the relationship is not built on mutual respect.
A relationship not built on mutual respect creates situations where one person is being used. I have put myself on the line more times than I can count and will continue to do so, however I WILL NOT be taken advantage of FULL STOP!
Does this make me a bitch? Or do I just have my priorities and principles straight?
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