I try to do my best to put others first but occasionally I need to draw a line and say that my life and sanity come first. Friendship should be based on mutual respect. I also believe that actions speak louder than words. So when is it appropriate for someone to say 'enough is enough, I need to look after myself first'?
Generally for me I do not tolerate hypocrisy. In my books there is nothing worse than listening to someone complain about behaviours that they themselves engage in. Therefore if hypocrisy creeps it's ugly head into the actions of someone I am trying to help through a crisis, I back off.
Another 'no-no' for me is lying. When someone in need lies to me, I try to give them a warning that if it happens again my help is over. If they are lying to themselves than I cannot help them. I've learned from counseling many people that they have to be honest with themselves in order to be helped.
Consideration is also key. When people, crisis or no crisis cannot give me common courtesies I want to run away as fast as I can from them and never look back.
One final factor is my health. I have fibromyalgia. A very misunderstood illness but one that leaves me in chronic pain which worsens with stress. If my pain increases to the point that it interferes with my daily life I am forced to stop and evaluate what I can and/or cannot do to better my situation. If that means telling someone I am unable to help them, so be it. If they are unable to understand this then the relationship is not built on mutual respect.
A relationship not built on mutual respect creates situations where one person is being used. I have put myself on the line more times than I can count and will continue to do so, however I WILL NOT be taken advantage of FULL STOP!
Does this make me a bitch? Or do I just have my priorities and principles straight?
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