Unexpected emotion

This weekend has been full of reconnecting and catching up with people from the recent past and very distant past. What started as a way to get in touch with someone I missed, turned into a very touching and emotional discovery of the inner beauty of someone I have spent a lot of time with but never really knew thus causing an unexpected time of growth.

It's hard to describe how I feel right now. I've gone through a number of emotions, shed lots of tears and am still a bit enraged.

Enraged at human behaviour, especially that of those who call themselves Christians yet choose to judge someone for not being perfect.

In my mind, to be "Christian" is to be Christ-like and it was Christ who said "he who is without sin cast the first stone" when challenged by the Sadducees regarding punishment for sinning.

What's weird about being enraged is that the one who has been judged hurt someone very dear to me; but at the same time I know is hurting greatly. Probably hurting more than we'll ever understand. It's easy to help the one that has been wronged but I feel compelled to reach out to the one I don't even really know.

I'm not perfect. I've judged. I've also been judged; harshly. Growing up I was very misunderstood by many of the people I spent my youth with. People who I cherished. It's another reason why this weekend has been very emotional. Life has finally taken me to the point where I can contact people who have hurt me in the past, reach out to them and move past the pain that has been harboured in my heart for so many years and love them.

For those who don't know me - I was the odd one out. I didn't want to conform to anything around me. All I wanted was to love and be loved; play basketball; and hang out with my friends. I dressed differently; listened to different music; and hung out with a variety of people. I was not one for clicks.

That's not to say I strove to be different; I simply wanted to be 100% me. Pure and simple. I tried hard not to be anyone but me, at a time when acceptance was often the most sought after aspect of life for teens.

It's an interesting feeling of release that has washed over me. I have been reminded who I truly am and why I live life the way I do. I believe in honesty, love and acceptance. I try to find the truth in according to God not man. I am by far the "ideal Christian" - if that even exists. I simply try to be Christ-like within the fallacies of human nature.

I want to thank Shoe Junkie for sharing the truth despite the pain. When we share are bad times with others it not only helps to overcome the consequences we face but it unexpectedly helps those around you. In your struggles I have found strength to face that which has restricted me from moving forward in my journey

til' next time...