I had an email exchange with someone about how we both learned what it really meant to be a 'friend' through very difficult experiences. This discussion prompted me to take a look at dictionary.com and find out what it had to say about the word "friend". Some examples are, "a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile" and "A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts".
But how do you really know someone? Especially when people seem to continually try to hide their true selves?
A wise man once told me that if you find three true friends in your life, ones who will be with you no matter what you do or is done to you, you are truly blessed. However, in order to have that sort of friendship, you must first be that type of person. I heard these words when I was in grade 7 and have since tried to live my life as a true friend to others.
It's not easy. People can actually get freaked out from kindness in a world where everyone is out for themselves. It is assumed that your kindness comes with ulterior motives. I've been accused of trying to buy people's friendship with random acts of kindness (crazy hey?). What I've learned though is that a person can not truly love and care for another until they love and care for themselves without conceit. If someone doesn't love themselves for who they truly are, they will never be able to fully appreciate the loving kindness of someone who does.
Another life lesson I've had is that distance doesn't mean the end. One of my closest friends, someone who REALLY knows me, I only talk to every couple months. We've had many good times and some really harsh times but after we got over ourselves, we forgave, forgot and moved on in life supporting each other through good and bad. When I'm in need, I know she's only a phone call away and will do whatever she can to help me through my struggle; and vice versa. She never reprimands me for not calling more often, but has been known to reprimand me for not calling before things got so far out of hand. I would do anything for her and know that she would do anything for me.
Having met many people in life I have come to realize that not all siblings have a sense of friendship. I've experienced siblings that truly hate each other; that physically harmed each other with knives on a regular basis. It's strange to think this sort of family exists when even my cousins and I are close friends. I don't know where I'd be in life without my brother. Colin has proven that when I've needed him, he's there. He has been the one I gone to for wisdom and advice for years, even decades. I have so many good memories with him. He truly is more than my brother; he is my friend.
Then there is my husband...what's interesting about our friendship is that we have different beliefs. As a Christian I was always told not to date a non-believer. Because of this I had immense guilt and I tried to end our relationship when we were still dating - twice. So why did I marry him? Simple. He loves me for who I am. This includes my beliefs as they are so deeply ingrained in who I am that to ask me to not go to church or not hang out with other Christians would be asking me to change from the one he loves to someone else. I can honestly say that I have never been loved like this before and have found a happiness that I never knew existed.
That wise man in grade 7 was right. Three true friends and you are fully blessed. But I have far more than these three blessings and know I will have far more blessings in the future.
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